I hear said title quite frequently around my stomping grounds. Whether I'm pulling a "Dennis," as my parents stifle a chuckle and say, or I'm just mouthing off as usual, the phrase, "oh now, well you're just the worst, Julian!" is definitely uttered a good percentage of the time. Yet, I will say, most of the time it's spoken in a joking and loving manner. But, I was having a heart to heart with myself the other day, and my oversized brain stumbled upon this school of thought: you know how some people believe when someone says "just kidding," after making a possibly offensive joke to another individual (but a joke none-the-less), 50% of the time they really do mean what they're saying? Let's go ahead and apply that to the previous statement. It's safe to say my parent's really do think I'm Dennis the Menace...hah.
I guess they have plenty of reason to accuse me and with such the appropriate quintessential 90's movie reference (kids of the 90's, I swear). If that's the case, guilty as charged, people! But let me just say, they egg me on plenty. I'm sure I'd have a plethora of witnesses' to choose from who would side with me-- no lies, jokes or games. My hair is slicked back, gelled and I mean business.
In other news, caught me a large-mouth bass today, and that is NO exaggeration, friends. And of course by "caught" I mean swam out to, sniffed, gulped the shadows around its half-eaten carcas and paddled back to shore. So yeah, I caught him... more or less. Mom and dad came up short on this excursion. Actually, I take that back; Mom reeled in three nice big logs--broke G-dad's line, too (woops!! and yes I just did, Mom).
Dad said if it weren't for Mom he would have left me in the water today when I was trying to climb up the side of the boat, barely escaping the six snapping turtles coming at me in every direction! (exaggeration again...yeah, so). I know my biological father doesn't pay mother any alimony or child support, but at least he really cares about me and knows how vital it is that I don't show up bloated on the operating table or when announced D.O.A. Talk about never showing your face in public again...(he's still pretty green and has a lot to learn)...
This weekend was a success. But I'm tried and back in this hell-hole of a house. I don't mean hell-hole in any other offensive way than how I'm saying it-- it's hotter than a bitch in heat in here (and I would know, trust me!)
Signing off,
Your friend and lover, (<-----)
Julian Joe
2 comments:
JuJu, GDaddy and Joshua went fishing last evening and caught a HUGE bass. (Well, GDaddy did. Joshua caught a smaller one.) You would have loved it. Tell your mama that your Aunt Kaye and Uncle Herb, and maybe Mathyn, are coming this weekend. Aunt Kaye said she is really coming to see "all the doggies." Ahem...that means you.
WHAT!?!?!? This is ground-breaking news! Someone pinch me, please! I can't WAIT to see my Auntie and baby cousin!!!! and Joe sure does love his great aunt & uncle! YAY! Let me know when they're coming, please.
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